Wow. 30 weeks. I don't even know what to think. A lot is going through my mind and it's all getting jumbled up in there. I keep reading the books and the sites to see what's going on with Web this week and there's quite a lot. He's about 16 inches long now and well over 3 pounds.
Ok... before I get into that, can we talk about the number 30 for a bit? This number, when attached to how many weeks I've been pregnant, freaks me out. Most women have their baby during a week with a 3 infront of it. I don't know what to do with this fact. It's very surreal, yet looming. In about 10 weeks, my entire life is going to change in a way that I will never be able to prepare myself for. No matter how many onesies and rompers I wash, trips to Babie's R Us I make, research I do, I will not be completely prepared for what's coming. I don't like this. I'm a "plan" kinda girl, and the fact that I can't plan for this takes all the control out of my hands (which makes me physically ill). I think the fact that I'm anxious for Web to get here also adds to everything. I guess I'm just torn... I want more time to prepare myself and the outside world, but I want Web to get here soon too. I can't wait to hold him and just look at him. Pregnancy is the ultimate test of patience.
When people have told me, "You won't believe how much you'll love him." at first I didn't really think of it. But now, as I get closer to actually having this little human being on the "outside," I find myself staring at my stomach just waiting for movement. I've even caught myself talking to him. What's even stranger is that I know when he's hungry by his movement. Sometimes I kinda wish he could just stay inside me. The world is such a scary place and besides, if he's on the outside and I'm holding him, I could drop the poor little guy. That can't happen right now. I just want everything to be perfect for him (yes, yes.... I know this isn't possible) and just to be ready when he gets here. My fear is that we're going to be in the middle of "getting ready" for him and he'll decide to make a surprise appearance. This would be kryptonite for me... MY GOD. Just to think of it makes me wanna puke. Seriously folks...
In the meantime, I'll do what I can. I've been EXTREMELY lucky in this pregnancy and have had a fabulous 30 weeks. No morning sickness (although a host of little rhinitis episodes), no crazy cravings, no scary pre term labor, no bed rest, etc. See? Very good pregnancy so far (knock on a freakin' tree). So for now, I will prepare as best I can and hope for the best I can do. :)
Ok... before I get into that, can we talk about the number 30 for a bit? This number, when attached to how many weeks I've been pregnant, freaks me out. Most women have their baby during a week with a 3 infront of it. I don't know what to do with this fact. It's very surreal, yet looming. In about 10 weeks, my entire life is going to change in a way that I will never be able to prepare myself for. No matter how many onesies and rompers I wash, trips to Babie's R Us I make, research I do, I will not be completely prepared for what's coming. I don't like this. I'm a "plan" kinda girl, and the fact that I can't plan for this takes all the control out of my hands (which makes me physically ill). I think the fact that I'm anxious for Web to get here also adds to everything. I guess I'm just torn... I want more time to prepare myself and the outside world, but I want Web to get here soon too. I can't wait to hold him and just look at him. Pregnancy is the ultimate test of patience.
When people have told me, "You won't believe how much you'll love him." at first I didn't really think of it. But now, as I get closer to actually having this little human being on the "outside," I find myself staring at my stomach just waiting for movement. I've even caught myself talking to him. What's even stranger is that I know when he's hungry by his movement. Sometimes I kinda wish he could just stay inside me. The world is such a scary place and besides, if he's on the outside and I'm holding him, I could drop the poor little guy. That can't happen right now. I just want everything to be perfect for him (yes, yes.... I know this isn't possible) and just to be ready when he gets here. My fear is that we're going to be in the middle of "getting ready" for him and he'll decide to make a surprise appearance. This would be kryptonite for me... MY GOD. Just to think of it makes me wanna puke. Seriously folks...
In the meantime, I'll do what I can. I've been EXTREMELY lucky in this pregnancy and have had a fabulous 30 weeks. No morning sickness (although a host of little rhinitis episodes), no crazy cravings, no scary pre term labor, no bed rest, etc. See? Very good pregnancy so far (knock on a freakin' tree). So for now, I will prepare as best I can and hope for the best I can do. :)
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